The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
