We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
