Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
