There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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