i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
