ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
