Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
