hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
