once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
