We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
