Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
