i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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