I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
