Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
