dude i'm inner monologue high
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
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and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
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Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize