I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Randomize
