fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
