You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
