That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
