I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
