Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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