i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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