Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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