I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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