Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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