i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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