Its about making memories worth repressing
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize