if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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