Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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