This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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