So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
