Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
