when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He felt like a one man threesome
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
