i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
