Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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