He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
