I hate all girls vehemently.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
