this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
