they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
