There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
