my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
