you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
