I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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