its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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