Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize