i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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