Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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