Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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