have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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