And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
