We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize