I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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