have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
