You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
