fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
