I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
50% drunk capacity currently
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize