What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
