I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
