he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My breasts were aching with rage.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
